Life Stories & how they continue on even after you die

I've sort of come to this conclusion several times over now in the past several months... You know sometimes your life story simply ends with no rhyme or reason - other times you foretell the ending before it happens. You've read the story before. It's not unexpected but it's not without bitterness. However the true comfort is that just because your life story has ended doesn't mean it's truly over. It will remain within the libraries that your loved ones carry with them. A collection of moments, experiences and encounters. So long as there are people here who still remember you and pass your story along, it never truly dies. It still exists, it's perhaps ended but people will still read it and remember it.

 — feeling incomplete.

Loss of people especially people you never expect to lose and secondly you never realize how much they meant to you upon their passing. It's like a puzzle and no matter what you do you'll never have the pieces. They are gone - and I will will likely never get them back. Loss brings so many emotions regret mostly - of missed chances and opportunities and of questions that will likely never get answers. However you sit there with your incomplete puzzle and you treasure the pieces you do have - the picture it does create albeit not fully.

Grief is such a tricky thing to try to explain let alone to begin to understand. With it comes so many things. It's like this unwanted Pandora box that you didn't realize would impact your life to such an extent. I will probably dig up my early posts about loss of loved ones that I wrote on the other two occasions that I came face to face with death earlier this year

I wish more than anything I could bring the people back I lost however I cannot do this - no one can. We must try to move forward as best we can even if we don't even know how that is. We have to try to find the lessons that each day bring us be it ones we never wanted to learn or those we so patiently spent mastering.

Life or at least ourselves are very much like magnets without the positives and the negatives we cannot live in one piece. We need a little bit of both in order to grow. We have the power within ourselves to attract things and dispel them at our own choosing.

So right now though it seems impossible I'm going to accept that today was another unexpectedly tragic day but there is something here to learn from - to grow from

You know sometimes your life story simply ends with no rhyme or reason - other times you foretell the ending before it happens. You've read the story before. It's not unexpected but it's not without bitterness. However the true comfort is that just because your life story has ended doesn't mean it's truly over. It will remain within the libraries that your loved ones carry with them. A collection of moments, experiences and encounters. So long as there are people here who still remember you and pass your story along, it never truly dies. It still exists, it's perhaps ended but people will still read it and remember it.

Losing people is NOT FUN

So back in May when my friend passed away I wrote a few different things with regards to Death & loss and what not. Sort of a way to cope and what not. However when I was writing those things in May I truly had no clue I would be referencing it so much afterwards.

I learned today that a Man I consider to be my Grandfather passed away yesterday. Mind you he was in his 80's and had an incredibly long & wonderful life - Living to see not one but two Great Grandchildren (3 if you count his step grandson) and luckily he was able to meet his Great Grandson in the fall and catch up with his Great Grand Daughter. In the end this is what he wanted - he more or less choose this time to leave us. But it's still very hard as he was a part of my life  for so very long. I became fast friends with his Grand Daughter when we were both five (We are 20 days apart in age thus both 23) and he has been in my life since. So that's what 18 years? My math is foggy tonight; my head is foggy tonight.

I really had high hopes for 2015 after such a really difficult 2014.
I had to come face to face with fire and deal with the after math of having had a small House fire. This was followed by the death of my Young friend (only 20) in May which proceeded my father ending up in Hospital for a month & going without a bathroom upstairs for 3 months. Well my father was in Hospital he became friends with his Hospital Mate (Like a roomate) Karl who shared his room for like 95% of their stay. Naturally we befriended Karl who didn't have many friends however he sadly passed away in July.
In the last few days of 2014 I had high hopes, 2014 was nearly done. I was ready to say good bye to loss & sadness. And then on New Years Eve I found out my cousin passed away.

Now the weekend of her funeral (I wasn't able to attend, my mom got to go I stayed home to look after my dad) literally the day after I loss My Grandfather Ken. So brilliant way to start 2015 hey.

Anyway
So anyway I will probably be posting lot's of my previous thoughts about my friend/loss/grief/dealing with death and what not...

The odd comfort of my cousin's passing is that her passing was a transition from Pain to being Pain free. She is in a place where her body is now her own and no longer plagued with cancer. However now it's her loved ones that are experiencing pain - the pain from losing her.